An Introduction
There are two things I’ve spent most of my life doing — writing and taking pictures. I’ve attempted to make a career out of one of those things (and haven’t succeeded) and never considered making money off the other.
Curating the Words
As a student of academia, my creativity flows from my fingers tips; in other words, I am pretty good at writing.
Since the world needs people to write content across many avenues, I felt like it was my divine right to pursue a career where my wheelhouse consisted of persuading through words. I could have been a lawyer. I am currently a master’s candidate in communications at my local university and I’ve seriously bounced off the idea of going for my PhD. But, until I figure out that part of my life, I’ve decided to take leap of faith into an area that I always thought was NOT my territory.
The Backstory
The location: Martinez Shoreline. I was 13 years old with a film camera that was gifted to my parents but barely touched. There was (and still is) a Southern Pacific steam train parked as display. For the first time in my life, I pressed down on a shutter button and was surprised by the vibrations of the film whirling inside. It was enthralling for my fresh teenage experience.
My very first photograph, 2002
I wanted more of that feeling, but I was also mindful that film was scarce (to our poor pockets). I gave myself permission to snap one more photo before returning to the premises of one of my mom’s three jobs. Behind the train there were trees, which I decided were my next shot. A few weeks later, my mom got the film developed and I took my two photos to school where a teacher, who I am still dear friends with today, was most fascinated by the photo of the trees and said something about “having good composition.”
It would not be the last time I heard that compliment. I do have an eye for imagery and I believe it comes from my lack of hearing. I was born deaf and wear a single hearing aid. I do better reading lips and captions. I do horribly in group and social situations, thus I watch and observe. My eyes are my ears.
Onward
Although my life had some wild turns and my experience portfolio could be as long as Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, it was never without my cameras. In my teens, I was the underground party go-er who claimed herself as a event photographer with a shitty 6 AAA battery operated point and shoot. In my young adulthood, I was the adventurer who took her Canon DSL with her like an wearable tech accessory or jewelry, whether it be a concert or another country. In my late 20s, I started dipping my toes in places I never thought I’d go, such as taking photos for friends and friends of friends, birthday parties and weddings, portrait and product shoots — that’s when I began feeling a little lost; am I really qualified to put a price on my worth as a self-taught photographer?
For the longest time I didn’t think so.
2022
The pandemic did some weird things, amiright? It threw off my grad student game (lack of classes, lack of staff), it made it challenging for me to arraign childcare to be able to work full time, and it’s just plain hard to simply go about life. While I am in between all of those things, I needed an outlet —
Photography is that outlet.
A colleague in my department was getting eloped and reached out to me for planning help. One of the things I tried to set her up with was an elopement photographer — someone that is familiar with San Francisco City Hall, someone with experience with elopement photography. Somewhere in that discourse, it was revealed that I had actually shot weddings in the past. Agreements were made and next thing you know, I am her photographer on the big day.
I don’t know if it was the aftereffects of dehydration or social over-stimulation but the disbelief that took over me when I opened up the photo files was astronomical. Who took these photos? Me?! Nah.
Once I got over that insecurity, I realized my potential and that potential brought me here.
Why I’m different
Well to be fair, everyone is different. We know that, yet we struggle to stop comparing ourselves to others — but something happened to me where I was like, oh yeah — my shit is different than their shit. And bam, I stopped envying other photographers and began falling in love with their work.
I think it’s important to add that I am a romantic of photography as art, but please don’t get me wrong; you won’t find me at the Louvre. I never understood art. To this day, I still don’t, but what I mean is that I find things in my field of vision I fall in love with and I want to keep that memory. Let me clarify that this is nothing like the desire to do it for the ‘gram. Those are two similar but different areas of product. Different areas of the brain light up, maybe even light your heart up. In conclusion, every final photo has touched my heart in one way or another.
My name is Auzeen and I am a long time but recently established photographer. I have bad posture and a fat lisp. I’m a little loud, a little quiet and crazy friendly. I am also pretty good at writing.
